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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443689">the mechanisms befriend an eldritch horror</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/starshipaurora/pseuds/starshipaurora'>starshipaurora</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>nolinoideae [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mechanisms (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>All the Mechs are Autistic, All the Mechs are Trans, Autism, Canon-Typical Violence, Depersonalization, Dissociation, Eldritch, Eldritch Horrors!, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mechanization, Mechs OC, Mechs-Typical Death, Mechs-Typical violence, Mechsona, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Second Person, Trans Characters, as the story goes on, autistic characters, i guess?????</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:33:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,175</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443689</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/starshipaurora/pseuds/starshipaurora</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>no one comes to assess the damage of your planet and its moon. you’re on the edges of the galaxy, and there wasn’t much of a tourist market for a tiny asteroid and its shitty population.<br/>it’s just you. and your flower. until a ship docks on the shore of the landmass where your cabin used to rest.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jonny d'Ville &amp; Nastya Rasputina, Original Character &amp; The Aurora, Original Character &amp; The Mechanisms Ensemble, The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina, The Mechanisms Ensemble &amp; The Mechanisms Ensemble</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>nolinoideae [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. all alone and a-lowly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello and welcome to a super-super indulgent mechsona fic where the mechs befriend an eldritch horror. yeah you heard me.<br/>    please read the notes at the beginning of the chapters, as ill be writing any in-depth triggers warnings i think apply!!</p><p>    as a general warning for this entire fic: this is a second person pov of a character who was mechanized/turned into said eldritch horror. there's a lot of things that might trigger dissociation, like describing a shifting/non-concrete body, a warped sense of self and personhood, etc. there's also probably going to be some repeating words and echolalia, so if anything i've just written triggers you at all please take care of yourself!!! maybe find a different fic to read, i don't mind !!!!</p><p>    warnings for this chapter specifically:<br/>    - mentions of animal death<br/>    - mention of mortal people dying and implication of being mechanized<br/>    - describing destruction of a planet in more detail than the usual mechs way of "tim blew up the moon lol"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it’s difficult to remember, now, exactly how you became... this.</p><p>but you remember enough.</p><p>a tiny planet, more like an asteroid. hurtling towards a moon of the same size.</p><p>no one on the planet stood a chance.</p><p>except you.</p><p>locked away of your own will, a cabin in the depths of a forest, surrounded by bluebells and lilies. even as the moon got close enough to touch, you cared for the planet. watered the flowers from your own supply when the river dried up. took the animals inside to use your oxygen when the atmosphere grew too harsh for them to breathe.</p><p>the final day your planet spent whole, a small ship landed outside your home. a doctor knocked on your door. said she could save you.</p><p>why would you refuse?</p><p>no one else would care for this place after the crash.</p><p>it hurt.</p><p>so, so much.</p><p>when you awoke from death for the first time, your body felt like melting ice and broiling lava, mixing and churning yet somehow together, still. muffled, you heard the doctor say she could not save anything but your skull.</p><p>she did her best, she said.</p><p>and then she left.</p><p>you could still... sense, you could still <em> feel </em>, but it was never the same as before. nothing was.</p><p>the animals died when the planet hit the moon.</p><p>you buried them all in the floating chunks of earth that remained, singing a funeral song no one’s ears could catch but your own.</p><p>the plants were incinerated from the explosions.</p><p>all but one.</p><p>you nursed it back to health, gently and carefully, and vowed to protect it. it was the last thing you had, after all.</p><p>you didn’t bother to check on the people. you knew they were all dead.</p><p>one day out of boredom, you chose to see what had become of them. upon discovering one of them caused the crash due to a wayward experiment, a lost bet, and some alcohol, you threw their bodies into space.</p><p>time lost most of its meaning after that.</p><p>you make sure the plant is kept alive. a lily of the valley, you think it’s called.</p><p>all the water is gone, and the oxygen is lost, so most days you wrap yourself around it, every blackened, molten, liquid-like atom of you dedicated to preserving the last life on this planet besides your own.</p><p>if you count yourself as alive.</p><p>most days, you don’t.</p><p>no one comes to assess the damage of your planet and its moon. you’re on the edges of the galaxy, and there wasn’t much of a tourist market for a tiny asteroid and its shitty population.</p><p>it’s just you.</p><p>and your flower.</p><p>until a ship docks on the shore of the landmass where your cabin used to rest.</p><p>you’ve been a part of this planet for so long that you can feel the ship land and the four sets of feet touch your soil.</p><p>this planet is a wasteland.</p><p>they’ll get bored and leave sooner or later.</p><p>you don’t do anything. only curl up tighter around the flowerpot.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yeah this was very sad but i swear it gets better from here</p><p>    i tried writing in a different style to match the pov character's train of thought, i hope it makes sense? they do have a name, btw, but im saving it... for later ;)</p><p>    also i know carmilla probably isnt able to turn anyone into That but this is the mechanisms and the rules dont matter. im still gonna attempt to make it make sense when describing their backstory tho whoops</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. few can take a dying world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>time to meet some mechs!!</p><p>alongside the general fic warnings listed in chapter 1, warnings this chapter for:<br/>- accidentally calling pov character "it" before asking pronouns, although it's revealed they have no preference<br/>- mechs-typical gun-slingin' and shooting<br/>- nastya sibling-slapping jonny for being an idiot a few times</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>unfortunately, the visitors don’t get bored. they make their way closer and closer.</p><p><em> nastya, are you sure aurora sensed the right ship, </em> one of them says, boots crunching on dry earth. his heart ticktickticks and whirrs in the quiet stillness.</p><p><em> my love has never been wrong about these things, jonny, </em> another replies. she feels heavy against the ground, much heavier than the others. you can hear her blood flowing, similar to the molten churn of your not-body.</p><p>you swirl curiously around the burned and melted ruins of your cabin. they come closer.</p><p><em> woah, </em> yet another one breathes, voice singing of wonder. you reach out to the wind and find that her hands smell of books and ink. <em> guys, look over there. </em></p><p>realizing that it’s you they’re looking at, you return to the plant and make yourself as small as possible.</p><p><em> that looked like... a human skull, </em>the fourth one says. his arm is unnatural, and you know intuitively, somehow, that inside the metal there are carefully braided wires and switches— it’s made for the gentle-quick kind of movement.</p><p>the heavy-blood one reaches you first. she jumps over a gap between two chunks of earth and pushes away the floating sheet of industrial metal that had been shielding most of you from their eyes.</p><p><em> oh, </em> she says, quiet.</p><p>your body shifts, sharpening in fear, and two claw-shaped limbs emerge from you and wrap around the flowerpot.</p><p>the ticktick-heart screams, <em> what the fuck is that, </em> and draws a gun.</p><p>a gunshot rings out, but what deafens the visitors is the high-pitched shriek that comes at them from all sides as your body absorbs the bullet and all the force that it came with. only half-aware of it, you send the bullet right back, and everything in him goes quiet but the ticktick-heart.</p><p>you’re still shrieking. is it you, that’s shrieking?</p><p>heavy-blood is trying to yell over your noise. <em> we’re sorry. we didn’t mean to disturb you. we are looking for a ship. </em></p><p>hm.</p><p>the shrieking stops.</p><p>you tilt your head.</p><p><em> can you... understand us, </em> metal-arm says.</p><p>you nod. or, you hope your skull looks like it’s nodding.</p><p>apparently it does, because heavy-blood says, <em> good, good. a ship landed here about a century ago. we think it was right before this planet crashed into the moon. do you know anything about it. </em></p><p><em> was it even around back then, </em> metal-arm says quietly to her.</p><p>inky-hands adds, <em> given the fact that it’s the only thing alive here after a century, there’s a 98 percent chance it was at least here when she landed. </em></p><p><em> do you like being called it, </em> heavy-blood says to you.</p><p>you tilt your head again. you don’t remember if you like to be called anything.</p><p><em> let’s just go with they for now, </em> inky-hands says. <em> i’m not sure if they are a creature that was native to this planet, or if they came upon the ruins. </em> she looks up at you. <em> were you here before these two planets crashed. </em></p><p>you nod slowly.</p><p><em> that’s a start, </em> says ticktick-heart, who has started moving again. he stays on the floor. heavy-blood kicks him gently in the ribs. <em> ow, nastya. must’ve been here when the doc was, at least. </em></p><p>doc... tor?</p><p>doctor doctor doctor doctor—</p><p>you know of a doctor, a doctor who landed here on a ship, she gave you this body, saved you, it’s her that they’re looking for.</p><p>your body fills the air with a low, vibrating hum and you put your skull directly in front of ticktick-heart, who yelps.</p><p><em> you... know her, </em> he says. you nod. <em> do you know what she did when she was here. </em></p><p>she saved you, she—</p><p>your body curls around your skull, protecting both it and the plant.</p><p>she hurt you, too. bad.</p><p><em> hey, </em> says heavy-blood. <em> come to our ship. her name is aurora. we have oxygen there, for your... plant. and things that can help us understand you. </em></p><p>oxygen. for the plant.</p><p>yes. yes yes yes.</p><p>you nod rapidly, and heavy-blood chuckles before walking away, leading the rest of the visitors away, too. you follow, slowly.</p><p>they all watch you. your body is like a serpent, floating in the air, but without a concrete shape, twisting and writhing and changing every second. the only thing that’s stayed relatively consistent is the head shape near your skull, but even that changes.</p><p>you reach the ship, and you can feel it— no, her. you can feel her, every pump of the engine, every turn of the gear as she rests on the ground of your planet. heavy-blood opens a door and you fly in, swirling around the room and settling to float in an upper corner, the plant dangling from three rope-like limbs.</p><p>“hello,” the ship says, and you hum with excitement. “i am the aurora. it is lovely to meet you.”</p><p>“hello hello hello,” you echo back, and heavy-blood stops walking, eyes wide.</p><p>“nastya,” the aurora says, and you can hear her, clear as day. “your guest can understand me.”</p><p><em> they can, </em> heavy-blood tilts her head. <em> and i can understand them, as well. </em></p><p>“understand,” you repeat, matching the head-tilt.</p><p><em> what. i can’t hear anything, </em> ticktick-heart grumbles.</p><p><em> it must be something about aurora’s language, </em> inky-hands says. <em><span>such as how nastya can understand aurora much better than the rest of us</span>. perhaps theirs works the same way... fascinating. </em></p><p>“i heard what happened on your planet,” the aurora says. “my love had a comm with her. it is alright to put your plant down. i can supply it with oxygen and water.”</p><p>no. no no no.</p><p>you bring the plant inside yourself again.</p><p>“safe,” you say, bristling. the aurora may feel safe but you are safer.</p><p><em> alright, </em> heavy-blood says with a sigh. <em> can you tell us what happened to you and the doctor. </em></p><p>you hum, so low that it’s nearly damaging to human ears, and then your skull disappears into your body. holding your two precious objects close, you dive into one of the aurora’s consoles, and the lights go out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. and still with beauty fill it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im on a roll w this one folks</p><p>no specific warnings for this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>physically, it’s dark inside of the aurora’s machinery. but it feels like colors, and music, and alive. you don’t go past the room you were in before, merely stay swirling inside of the console you’d dove into.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ah, dear, you surprised me,” she says. her voice is all around you. “would you mind getting out of my insides.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“no.” you twist around defiantly. the aurora laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“nastya can be... blunt. she means you no harm. the rest of my crew are scared. they just want to know more about the doctor— they have all been... operated on. and they are forever searching for answers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“doctor hurt them too,” you say, hoping she realizes it’s a question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“too...” she repeats, before giving a thoughtful hum and continuing. “yes. they want to hear what happened to you. they may not show it, but i know they will feel sympathy for you. and they can grow to understand you, if you let them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“not voice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“maybe not. but i can always help with that. no one but nastya can truly hear me, either. still, they understand me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you think for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“they are all worrying about you right now,” the aurora says. “they have moved to the navigation room. i can guide you there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>a blinking light appears, and you swim towards it. the light moves as you follow, up and sideways and back down again, until you can feel the presence of people below you.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>i’m worried,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says someone new— someone who feels like warm and copper and brass and a heart that’s alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>really. who would’ve thought, </span>
  </em>
  <span>says ticktick-heart. </span>
  <em>
    <span>having some weird creature stuck in the ship isn’t worrying at all— ow, fuck, nastya, can you stop hitting me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>they are not some weird creature, jonny,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says heavy-blood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>slowly, you move yourself out of the machinery and your skull emerges from your body. they all look towards you.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>hello,</span>
  </em>
  <span> heavy-blood says gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“if you would like, i can show them what you’re saying on one of my screens,” the aurora says to you. “it might be easier to communicate with them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>sorry. aurora said i was a bit— forward, earlier. you don’t have to tell us everything right away. we are simply... curious, as to what the doctor has been up to.</span>
  </em>
  <span> heavy-blood waves her hands around.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>i’m brian, </span>
  </em>
  <span>says the warm-copper one, waving awkwardly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>do you want to tell us anything about the doctor right now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>hm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“doctor... saved,” you say, twisting smoothly around yourself. “planet was crashing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>she mechanized you,</span>
  </em>
  <span> inky-hands says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“kept skull.” you pause. “nothing else. hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>she only had your skull... fascinating,</span>
  </em>
  <span> inky-hands starts writing in a notebook.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>not your brain,</span>
  </em>
  <span> heavy-blood says. it sounds like a question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“not brain,” you echo. “gone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>how does that even fuckin’ work,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says ticktick-heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>she must have done something to preserve, well, them,</span>
  </em>
  <span> heavy-blood replies. </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe it’s in your... body. some remnants or something of a substance she was working on, mixed with parts of your consciousness, somehow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“didn’t explain,” you say. “just left.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>and then your planet crashed into the moon,</span>
  </em>
  <span> finishes warm-copper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>i’m sorry,</span>
  </em>
  <span> warm-copper says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you hum, a frequency close to the human voice, and move next to warm-copper, who is sitting in front of a window that—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>oh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>oh oh oh the stars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you’ve never seen them like this before, not from anywhere but the ground of your planet. you swirl around, humming louder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“stars,” you say, nearly covering the entire window with your body in an attempt to feel them all.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>that’s just a starmap. aurora took the picture a few days before we landed,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says warm-copper. </span>
  <em>
    <span>if you want to see the real things, we need to be in space.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“space,” you echo, putting your skull directly in front of his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>oh,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he says. </span>
  <em>
    <span>are you sure you want to leave your planet.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you pause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you settle on the floor and slowly drag the plant out of your body. still shielding it from everyone, you wrap thin limbs around the pot and think.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>this plant is the last life. this plant is here and this plant can go where you go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>your planet is nothing but chunks of earth and moon and a melted cabin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it was lonely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you don’t want to be that lonely ever again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“leave,” you decide. then, “forever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>heavy-blood makes a surprised noise. </span>
  <em>
    <span>really.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>alright. you heard them, my love,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the aurora gets loud and moves even more than before. the room shakes and you bring the plant inside again. warm-copper beckons you to float next to him and you watch as the aurora lifts off from your planet and into the stars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>a lot of feelings flood you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>too many feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you leave warm-copper and wrap yourself around heavy-blood like a snake, resting your skull on her shoulder. she freezes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>aww, nastya’s getting hugged by an eldritch horror,</span>
  </em>
  <span> ticktick-heart says.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>that reminds me... do you have a name.</span>
  </em>
  <span> heavy-blood wiggles her fingers and watches your body react, churning and moving around her own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you think that you might have had a name, once. but you don’t remember. so you shake your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>what about,</span>
  </em>
  <span> inky-hands pipes up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>noli. from the subfamily nolinoideae. your plant, it’s a lily of the valley, a convallaria majoris. that’s the subfamily it’s in.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>noli.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>noli noli noli noli noli— yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“yes yes yes,” you say, vibrating extra loud to get your excitement across.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>well then,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says ticktick-heart. </span>
  <em>
    <span>welcome aboard the aurora, noli. a pleasure to have you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>he bows, like an idiot. you tilt your head at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>stop acting like a wanker,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says inky-hands, and they all laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you don’t know how to laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>but for the first time in a century, you feel like you want to learn.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yay noli's got a name!</p><p>now that they're on the ship and heading off into space they can meet the rest of the crew! so keep a lookout for next chapter</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. out in the stars and far away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it's been a while but we're back, folks! it's noli hours once again.</p><p>warnings this chapter for<br/>- food? (it's tea)<br/>- that's really it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>we’re only a few hours away from that lava planet where we dropped off raph and ashes,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says warm-copper, pressing buttons and switches on a big console.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>good,</span>
  </em>
  <span> inky-hands says. </span>
  <em>
    <span>there’s a 70 percent chance that raph can tell us a bit more about how noli’s mechanization worked.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you’re still wrapped around heavy-blood. she looks at your skull.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>do you want to meet the rest of the crew,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“yes,” you say, swirling around with excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>aurora, can you help us find tim and ts, so they can meet noli,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she says, and with a noise of affirmation from the aurora, she starts off into the hallway. you wrap around her neck like a feather boa, and heavy-blood flips off ticktick-heart as he laughs at the two of you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>as you walk, you observe every detail of the aurora that you can. she’s astounding in her beauty, and each step down her halls fills you with even more awe. heavy-blood seems to notice, and smiles at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“pretty,” you say.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>mmm. my aurora is very pretty,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she chuckles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“if i could blush, i would be blushing,” the aurora says, her voice sounding like a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>she stops in front of a door with numerous bullet-holes shot through the metal and knocks harshly on it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>tim. motherfucker. open the door.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>there’s some grumbling as footsteps approach the door. you slither off heavy-blood and settle by her feet, twisting nervously. the door opens.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>what do you want,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says the new person. he smells strongly of gunpowder and his coat is singed from laser-shots. gunpowder looks down at you and jumps, drawing a gun from his hip. </span>
  <em>
    <span>nastya what the fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you shrink into yourself as heavy-blood holds her hands up in a defensive move. </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t shoot, this is noli. we found them on the planet we landed on a few hours ago.</span>
  </em>
  <span> quieter, she adds, </span>
  <em>
    <span>they were mechanized by the doctor.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>gunpowder puts his gun back as his face softens. </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh. sorry for almost shooting you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you wiggle around a little. at least he didn’t actually shoot you. “okay,” you say, nodding. the aurora swivels a screen around to face him, presumably with what you said and an explanation, and he squints at it before nodding back.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>we are going to pick up raphaella and ashes,</span>
  </em>
  <span> heavy-blood informs him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>and then, i suppose where we go next depends on what raphaella can find about noli’s mechanization.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>what... part of you is your mechanism,</span>
  </em>
  <span> gunpowder asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“only skull,” you say, before flying past him and into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it’s large and filled with all kinds of weapons. mostly guns. some feel like magic and other are just machinery. there’s a small shooting range at one end of the room, and at the other end a large workshop-like space. you float above the table and look down at the guns.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>i was polishing my laser-guns,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says gunpowder, picking one up and holding it up to your skull. </span>
  <em>
    <span>this one is from my time in the third great solar waaaaohmygod—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you’re holding the gun half-absorbed in your body, feeling its power and humming excitedly. you’ve never seen a gun like this before. at least, you don’t remember one. in your excitement, you forget that gunpowder’s hand is still holding onto the gun, and is now enveloped in your body as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>aaaaa, nastya help, oh my god this feels so weird—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>heavy-blood is laughing, and you relish in the moment for a few seconds before granting gunpowder his hand back. he gasps, and then starts laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>noli, that was weird as shit,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you tilt your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>he means it as a compliment,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says heavy-blood, still chuckling. </span>
  <em>
    <span>tim, do you want to join us in meeting the toy soldier.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>sure. i think it said it was going to make tea,</span>
  </em>
  <span> gunpowder says. </span>
  <em>
    <span>i don’t know for who, but apparently it’s making tea.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you arrive at a small room with bright walls and a soft floor. there’s a tea table in the center, full to the brim with snacks and teacups. matching chairs are scattered around the room. in one corner, there’s an area for making tea, where a wooden figure is humming and pouring a drink. it turns around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ah, hallo, old beans,” it says, and you hurriedly fly up to press your skull against its face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“hear me,” you ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“hallo there. yes i can hear you, old chum,” it says. you twist around toy-soldier happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>huh,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says heavy-blood. </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t expecting that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>is there a club i wasn’t invited to,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says gunpowder, crossing his arms. </span>
  <em>
    <span>how come ts and nastya and aurora can hear you. can anyone else hear you, too.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i must say, when first mate d’ville informed me we were stopping at a deserted, broken planet, i certainly wasn’t expecting to pick up a guest,” toy-soldier says. it pours milk into a teacup before handing it to a surprised nastya, who raises her eyebrows as she takes a sip.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>me neither,</span>
  </em>
  <span> gunpowder says. toy-soldier mixes a larger-than-normal amount of sugar into his cup before handing it over. </span>
  <em>
    <span>thanks.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>well, life is full of surprises,</span>
  </em>
  <span> heavy-blood muses, watching toy-soldier drop an eyeball into its own tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“how do you like your tea, mx. noli,” toy-soldier asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“don’t know,” you say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you end up hovering on the countertop and watching intently as toy-soldier adds everything possible to your tea, glancing up at you after each one. you have no idea what any of them taste like, so this results in the cup overflowing and spilling onto the formerly-clean tablecloth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ah. oh dear.” toy-soldier stops moving completely, which earns it worried glances from the other crew members.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>spilled tea is still tea, so you simply envelop the entire ordeal into your body. a lot of tastes and smells and textures and sounds ring out at once but— it feels good, actually. much better than you were honestly expecting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you gingerly remove the now-empty teacup and place it on the now-clean table, which for some reason causes gunpowder to burst into hysterical laughter. toy-soldier starts moving again, chanting apologies and fussing to make sure the table is properly clean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“good tea,” you reassure it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“that’s splendid, old chum. i’m glad you enjoyed it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>gunpowder laughs even harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the aurora lands on a planet that feels hot hot hot, and you twist around as you watch heavy-blood put on a big scary spacesuit that she says </span>
  <em>
    <span>is for when we don’t feel like dying repeatedly somewhere with an extreme temperature.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you’re pretty sure that you can survive the planet by yourself, so as soon as the airlock door opens, you fly out, humming happily at the way the hot air presses against you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>heavy-blood comes waddling out of the aurora, grumbling. you dive into the rocky ground and directly into the broiling lava underneath, immensely enjoying the way it churns against your body.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>noli, where did you go,</span>
  </em>
  <span> heavy-blood calls, and you pop yourself out of the ground and start following her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“lava,” you say.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>were you... inside the lava.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>it’s only a short walk before you spot two figures in the same type of spacesuit that heavy-blood is wearing. you zip over to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>one has mechanical wings, you can tell they’re tucked into her spacesuit, and her eyes look as bright as the beating sun above you. the other smells like smoke and metal lungs and a friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ashes, we are here to pick you up,</span>
  </em>
  <span> calls heavy-blood, stomping ungracefully in molten lava.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>who’d you bring with you,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says smoke-friend, nodding their head at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>this is noli,</span>
  </em>
  <span> heavy-blood says. </span>
  <em>
    <span>we can explain more once we’re not standing in lava. but they are joining us on aurora for the time being.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>you look brilliant,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says bright-wings, speaking up for the first time. her eyes get even more bright, and she smiles big. </span>
  <em>
    <span>and you can survive in these temperatures. absolutely brilliant.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“brilliant,” you echo, gleefully twisting around in the air. “brilliant brilliant brilliant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>heavy-blood relays your words to the others, and both of them smile. bright-wings flaps her hands, and you hear that her wings are flapping against the spacesuit.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>i love the word brilliant,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she says. </span>
  <em>
    <span>and i love collecting samples. let’s get back to the ship so i can store these.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>you got it, science officer,</span>
  </em>
  <span> smoke-friend says, picking up two heavy-looking containers of rock and stone. bright-wings picks up two more, and heavy-blood helps with the last.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>they begin walking back, but before they can make it very far, you zip around and take every box into your body. you feel the rocks, the ground beneath you humming, singing, calling out for its broken-off children, the rocks calling back, the lava popping loud and fast and—</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wow, you can carry all of that inside your body,</span>
  </em>
  <span> bright-wings says, flapping her hands some more and snapping you out of your thoughts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>i need to do some tests as soon as we get back, oh i’m so excited.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>it’s not a far ways back, especially now that you’re carrying the heavy load of boxes. bright-wings directs you to her lab’s very large storage space, where you place them carefully. then she takes you into her actual lab. now that the spacesuit is off, you can see every time her wings flap with excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>now, noli,</em> she says, dropping a stack of books onto the counter. <em>let’s see what you’re made of, shall we.</em></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. heist time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it's heist time, babey!!</p><p>warnings this chapter for<br/>- weird body... stuff? descriptions of the inside of a living persons body.<br/>- meltdown/panic attack sort of</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>what is it we’re stealing again,</span>
  </em>
  <span> smoke-friend says, tossing a lit lighter between their hands like it’s a ball.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>bright-wings looks over warm-copper’s shoulder and points to the starmap. </span>
  <em>
    <span>a vessel containing bits of dark matter. that may be what noli’s body is made out of. and if it isn’t, well. i’ve always wanted to get my hands on some dark matter.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>dark matter. isn’t that like, what the universe is made out of,</span>
  </em>
  <span> gunpowder asks. bright-wings bristles with excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>well, yes, but it’s also—</span>
  </em>
  <span> she’s interrupted by ticktick-heart and toy-soldier barging in loudly, fighting over something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i go too,” you say, flitting around the two in an attempt to quiet them.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>i don’t think anyone is gonna respond kindly to you flying in next to us,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says ticktick-heart. </span>
  <em>
    <span>no offense but you’re a giant blob of maybe-dark-matter with a floating skull on you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“hide,” you say simply. you can hide in the aurora. so you can hide inside one of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>to demonstrate this, you absorb your skull and shoot into ticktick-heart’s body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it is...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>oh it is very loud in here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>as loud as the aurora, but louder, because ticktick-heart’s only machinery is his heart, and you can feel-see-touch-hear the blood and the organs and the bones flowing and moving and vibrating and his thoughts are loud and you are his thoughts and you are him and you hear screaming and you cannot tell which of you is screaming and—</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>noli, noli get out of him, i don’t think he can handle this, noli—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you jump out and dive for a corner of the room, making yourself as small as possible, your body humming lowly as you watch ticktick-heart fall and die. everyone is looking at you. they do not look happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>don’t fucking do that without asking first,</span>
  </em>
  <span> says gunpowder, his voice cutting into you like a knife.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the rest of them are quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ticktick-heart groans and sits up. he looks at you. you can tell that he is afraid.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>noli. never fucking do that to me again,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he says, panting. he falls again, but does not die. he lays on the ground. gunpowder and bright-wings kneel beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>toy-soldier walks in a neat line up to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“if i may, i’d like to offer my assistance,” it says, giving you a salute. “i am not made of flesh, just wood. and i am not real, anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“hide,” you cock your skull to the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“yes, that is what i’m offering, old chap,” it says, swinging its arms in a rhythm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>more hesitantly than you did before, you jump into the body of toy-soldier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it is much, much quieter in here. quieter than the aurora. toy-soldier’s gears are steady but not loud, and you settle into a small cavity in its chest, next to a clockwork heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ah, this is very strange,” says toy-soldier, its voice reverberating around you. “but i’ve felt stranger. i think we’ve found a way for noli to join us, old beans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>are you sure,</span>
  </em>
  <span> heavy-blood says, her voice echoing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i’m certain. noli is doing just spiffing in my chest,” toy-soldier says, and knocks on its stomach. you swirl around happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>well, then. let’s go.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>heavy-blood warned you not to peek out of toy-soldier until they’re in the building, so you can only hear what’s happening. bright-wings, smoke-friend, and gunpowder are all with you, quietly whispering plans. ticktick-heart is unable to join the fun, as your possession had apparently worn him out. bright-wings had taken very detailed notes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>hello, i’m dr. la cognizi, this is dr. o’reilly, we’re here to purchase some samples.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you hear gunpowder mutter, </span>
  <em>
    <span>not even bothering for aliases this time, huh,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and then </span>
  <em>
    <span>ow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>a voice you don’t recognize says, </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course, doctors, down the hall, fourth on your left. dr. jombien is waiting for you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>footsteps down a metal hall. someone knocks on a door. it opens and closes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ah, dr. la c—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>a gunshot.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>alright, noli, you can come out now. raph, find that dark matter so we can get outta here before the camera turns this way, </span>
  </em>
  <span>gunpowder says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you fly out of toy-soldier and barely even notice the dead body on the floor. you swirl around, observing the room, until bright-wings heaves a thick glass box onto a table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>a box full of...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you screech, feeling the dark matter pulse and pull you closer, hearing it beckon you to grow, grow, feel the power, the beat of the universe thrumming louder and louder and louder and—</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>fuck. noli, what’s happening, are you okay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>the dark matter writhes and molds itself against the glass, wanting to escape, let it out and feel it grow and twist and turn and you need it, you need it, you—</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>gods, they’re reacting to it. badly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>i guess our plan of having them carry it out is out the window, huh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>no shit, ashes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>okay. ts, can you get noli to get back in you. stop fucking laughing, tim. raphaella and i will carry the dark matter first, as far away from noli as we can get. i saw a backdoor down the hall. aurora will be right there waiting. tim, shoot anyone who tries to get down the hall, ashes, you know what to do.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>jeez. aye aye, captain.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>you got it, nastya.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“noli, dear.” toy-soldier is weaving its hands into your body, gentle and hesitant. “can you come back inside me. you must be very upset, but we’re getting that thing away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the dark matter pulls and pushes and every atom is resisting as you dive into the clockwork. shaking and trembling and vibrating and toy-soldier goes “oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you don’t remember anything from that point on besides gunshots, fire, and yelling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and then you’re back on the aurora. toy-soldier lets you stay inside while you calm down. the dark matter is getting further and further away, down to the lab, and eventually you’re back to normal again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>we’d like to know what happened back there,</span>
  </em>
  <span> someone says. gunpowder. </span>
  <em>
    <span>but you don’t have to tell us yet.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you’re in no state to be speaking any language. but you poke your head out and nod your skull at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>oh, hi. i’m... glad you’re okay.</span>
  </em>
  <span> he reaches up with a hand and then stops, a strange look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you tilt your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>is it alright if i... well, we can’t really hug, so i thought i could. pat your head. but that’s sort of like a dog and i don’t want to—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>you shoot up and nuzzle your skull against his hand. it’s rough, but warm. nice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>toy-soldier laughs, and you can feel it in its chest. and it may just be gunpowder’s hands, but your entire being is. warm. loved.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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